Sunday, May 23, 2010

I think I'd rather live in a world like Alice's, because it makes more sense then this sick, sick world I'm stuck in.
it reminds me of me

Saturday, May 22, 2010

sara is definitely the strangest kid ive ever met. shes not actually a kid, shes a year older then me, but for some inexplicable reason i feel it necessary to refer to everyone as "kid". anyway, sara is basically the school hippie - her hair is long & knotty, she only wears flowing peasant skirts and big billowing white shirts, the one topic she never stops talking about is world peace, and she smells like weed. stereotypical as it may be, its truer then the fact that my eyes are blue, not brown, but my profile picture was taken in shitty lighting so they look brownish.
i walked to the park this morning to sit under my favorite ash tree and enjoy a cup of lemon tea (like ive mentioned before, im strange. i do stuff like walking half a mile with an antique tea cup to sit beneath a tree and watch cows eat grass), and sara was perched on top of a log, cross-legged / eyes closed.
she was the only thing standing in between me & my tree. i tried to find an alternate route to the old ash, but i ended up having to risk sara's attention and walk right in front of her. oh so gingerly i took my first step, and like in any great horror movie, my bare foot landed right on a twig that snapped in half. i mentally cussed myself out for not watching where i was going, and looked over at sara, hoping i hadnt disturbed her.
she was staring right at me with her big eco-friendly eyes.
"averie. hello," she smiled at me.
i tried to smile back, but im sure it looked more like a sneer. she was obviously overjoyed to have company, and i wanted nothing more then to book it out of there.
"what's in that tea cup?"
i refrained from smart-assing her and simply said, "tea."
she nodded. "come meditate with me."
"id rather not ..." i began. but she was suddenly standing right next to me, staring at me again. it felt like her giant green eyes were staring right into my soul.
"no, i insist."
of course you do, tree-hugger.
i followed her back to the rotting log which she settled herself onto & shut her eyes. i stood there awkwardly, watching her. one of her eyes opened slightly.
"sit down in the grass, close your eyes, and clear your mind."
"i already meditated this morning." that was bullshit. i dont meditate. i dont need to meditate. i need to drink tea; tea washes away my problems and clears my mind.
"that's horse crap, averie. i can see it on your face. you're troubled."
of course im troubled. im a human being for god's sake, i wanted to say. but i didnt. i nodded. i figured that if i went along with her hippie crap, we'd get through this conversation quicker and id be able to leave faster.
and then she started monologuing about an assortment of pointless things: how one day everybody will think of each other as family (how will we be able to stand reproduction then?), how meditation is as important as drinking water, and the story of why dogs and cats hate each other so much. while i was pretending to listen, i was staring at my tree. oh, how i yearned to sit underneath that tree!
when her rambling turned to whether or not abortions were morally right, i got up & walked home. so much for a peaceful saturday morning.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

you said you're sorry,
and with a face like that,
how could i not forgive You?


Monday, May 17, 2010

you tell me,
"Averie, I love you"
but you always manage to leave out,
"I'm going to go flirt with that girl over there and pretend not to notice what it does to you"

Friday, May 14, 2010

An old, drunken woman came up to me
While I was walking home from school
And said to me
"You are a beautiful, intelligent young woman,
And you don't need a man to make you happy"
I enjoy what alcohol does to some people.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

h a p p y : )

Thank you for noticing how blue I was today and fixing it with one of those behind-hugs that you know I love so much

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

" That boy is a terrible, terrible thief. He's taken something very dear to me; an organ that is essential for my life, the organ that I listen to when making important decisions -- he's stolen my heart "

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

you always admire what you really dont understand